Nature / Nurture on your character weaknesses

K

Kerbouchard

100+ Posts
I know we all agree that who and what we are is influenced by both Nature and Nurture. Some put more weight on one and others put more weight on the other.

But because of my ongoing fascination at why I struggle with some character flaws but am extremely strong in areas where friends of mine are screw ups I dwell on this a lot. So my question to you is, first which do you think makes up the biggest portion of your shortcomings and strengths, Nature or Nurture? Then second what are things that stand out to you where you are stronger that most of your peers and weaker than your peers?

I used to believe is was mostly Nurture, but after reading a lot of literature by Evolutionary Pshchologist, I now lean to putting a little more weight for Nature. Especially when it comes to traits that can really jack a person up (addictions). Just my opinion.

I am very strong on things like paying my debts, working hard, protecting my family and friends, trying not to strongly voice an opinion on things I haven't studied, etc. People who are weak in those areas drive me nuts. I don't understand them. Being weak in those areas makes you look like a wimp in my eyes. (I know that is biased.)

On the opposite end, I have two huge weaknesses, and just as passionately, I can't understand how guys (not girls, just guys) can't understand when a man screws up in these areas. That would be fighting and sleeping with lots of women. I don't condone these, but I don't "get it" when guys on hornfans say things like a man should not screw around, he got what he deserved, etc. I agree it's wrong, but it seems so normal.

So, do you believe it is Nature or Nurture in your situation and what are things you "just don't git" concerning other people's weaknesses, etc.
 
You could also infer that a lot of "nature" is actually handed down nuture that ingrained to the point of being more likely identified as "nature." It's an interesting dilemma and what makes it very interesting is the difficulty in getting real data. How many identical twins are split up at birth to provide a double blind? Not a very large sample group to be sure.

I think in general that nuture is the stronger influence, because I believe that behavior can be modified for the most part. It's been the subject of debate even btween brothers...

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as a Christian, I firmly believe that we sin because we are sinners. This is not because we were created to be sinners, but because of the choice that our father Adam made.
Also, if you want to use the 'nurture' argument, I would ask that talk to people who have adopted kids. I have known familes where the parents treated an adopted child just like their own, and the behavioural differences are amazing.
 
GT,
actually I don't think God 'could have done better.' If Adam and Eve did not have truly free will to choose, then their 'love' for God would have been compelled, and not free at all. If love isn't free, it isn't love. God ran the risk of real relationship. Real relationship always comes with tremendous risk. God was willing to take that risk, so that humans made in His image, were free to choose God, or to reject God.
 
Nature and nurture are different portions of threading on the same ball.

Neither are static. It takes work and courage to make changes, to discern where change needs to be made and how it is to be effected.

Fighting is stupid. Quit it. ******* is a blast. I got kids now, so blast a few for me as I don't get to dip around anymore.
 
Surely my flaws are not my fault. As opposed to my virtues which are the result of the sweat of my brow.

I'd align with Buck in that the matter is probably not properly framed. All genetic coding is realized within a specific "environment" (including placental). There is no separating the nature and nurture in your history up to now. Both play large roles, but the imagined degree of which is not relevant to how you decide to go forward.
 
I think I'd have my biggest flaws regardless of how I was raised but they could be less or worse had I been raised differently.
 
I might use Military service as an example of nuture often having a profound effect on a person. Though I saw some folks get their life together in the Military and go on and do great things, I also knew some **** ups that didn't change their habits? We some more ingrained than others because of nature? Were the "unchaingable habits" proof that nurture could not overcome nature. Or was nature actually the result of sustained nuture over time?

I love these sorts of topics. You can see both sides of the argument and either can be argued effectively to be the more dominant. To make it really simple-

Is it the bad apple (nature)

or

The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree ?(nurture)
 
kids have their traits and personalities born into them. we have a huge family. everyone had their personalities basically at birth, kids were night and day in that regard. i think nurture has a lot ot do with how people develop, but the personalities are ingrained.
 
LonghornCougar,
No, getting into heaven is not a 'reason' to love God. In fact, I had to think about it for a while. I just have never thought about that as a reason to love God at all. I love God for a great number of reasons, but in order to get into heaven isn't one. Not one I have ever heard taught at a church either.
 
I found it amazing how two relatively close in age boys in my family displayed their personality traits at SUCH a young age. You could quickly tell they were going to be very different. But, of course, nurture will also play a great role in shaping their character, work habits, etc.
 
I have an 18month old. He has an amazing outgoing personality that is nothing like my wife & I. However, we find ourselves saying all the time, "He gets that from you." From simple things like how he always eats fruit... how he always eats the red thing first. Nature is a big part of it.

I tend to think... on a scale of 1-10... all our kids have a built in athletic number and smarts number and moral number. Then we as parents can nurture that number up or down about 2 spots.

For example... Archie Manning had Peyton who had a athletic ability of 9... with training he became a 10. Jeffrey Dahmer had a moral number of 4... with crappy parents who never were around he became a 2.
 
Is self-improvement considered nurture? I tend to think of Nuture as your upbringing, but not your free-will, which I put as a 3rd variable in the equation, so to speak.

My beef with both sides is how often both Nature & Nurture get used as excuses for poor choices. It's never anyone's fault, it's their genetics or their personality or their tough situation at home or blah blah blah. Obviously those things can make it more of a struggle, but I don't believe they are deterministic.

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Wow, Orange, I like that. I'll think about it, but it strikes me as accurate on first thought. I think most people would accept that we are born with a certain athletic number and smarts number, and then nurture blesses or curses that by a few points. But adding moral to the argument is not as accepted (IMO) but I think it should be. I just see read about too many twisted people for nurture to be the sole answer.
 
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