My GF screamed at me b/c... *DELETED*

Not knowing any more about your situation than what you write above, my gut reaction is that you have merely witnessed the tip of the iceberg, and there could very well be a massive, manipulative control freak simmering below the surface. Depending on how much time, emotion, and money you have invested in this relationship, you may want to consider pulling chocks. Try explaining to her that getting to work later rather than earlier is having a negative impact on your job, and if she can't accept that, it will only get worse. To quote Whitman Mayo (Mr. Rhythm) in D.C. Cab, "Don't let your dick run your life".
 
From the little bit you wrote and from past experience, you should probably consider that aside from the actual screaming, she will always and forever try to control you. Accept that or move on.
 
i stopped reading after you said she rewarded you nicely 50% of the time for complying.
do as she says, my friend.
 
In a long term relationship, sex will ultimately cease to have almost any meaningful value as interpersonal glue; to the contrary your eye will wander and want variety. Screaming will increase as she feels increasingly entitled to do it. Get out.
 
My gf is a hellion if awakened early.

I believe she could whip the entire 1st Cavalry in such a situation.

The sanctity of her slumber shall not be compromised!


But I don't think you should lie to your girlfriend regarding the time you set it for. Have an honest, forthright discussion and reach a compromise.
 
I'm a woman, and I can tell you that this bansheeism will only get more pronounced. What is the big deal about an alarm clock set 1 hour earlier? Can't she just roll over and go back to sleep? I agree with the others who believe she is a control freak and will not stop until she has your testicles hanging from her rear-view mirror.

However, if you want to remain in this relationship (although I don't know why you would), you might do what my husband and I do: we each use our cell phone as an alarm clock. Under the pillow, we can each still feel the vibration and hear the alarm tones of our phone, but it's not enough to bother the other person. It works well for us and there are no screaming fits because someone got woken up.
 
send her to the couch.....seriously though, if this is a big issue, i can't imagine when you come home past 10pm after a night out with the boys....
 
Morning people and late sleepers aren't compatible. I'm a late sleeper and a night person. I don't even like to talk in the morning at all. I like to eat my breakfast while watching CNN. Then after my shower and coffee, I talk with my girlfriend. If my girlfriend woke me up at 5:45 am without telling me she needed to be up at that hour, we would have words also. She may have to go through the day like a zombie because she woke up an hour early unexpectedly. You seem to have a job that lets you be selective with your hours. If her schedule is rigid, and yours isn't, how about going in an hour later and staying an hour later? Or find a girl that likes to get up at 5:30 am and run or whatever.
 
I'd be pissed too if someone woke me up at 5:30. She is crazy (woman, duh), but she also just might like sleeping. I have a hell of time getting back to sleep once awake. I'm sure others are the same.
 
yeah, I think you are getting screamed out for lying to her, not the time the alarm went off. I'm not judging you, mind you, as I might of done the same thing at one point in my life.
 
Yeah.... Ya shouldn't be lying to her.

So... what's the problem w/ you going to work so early? Is it becuase it wakes her up? Is it becuase she thinks you're working too much?
 
Yeah.... Ya shouldn't be lying to her.

So... what's the problem w/ you going to work so early? Is it becuase it wakes her up? Is it becuase she thinks you're working too much?

Oh... and if she's already being so nutz that you have to lie to her about what time you're setting your alarm for... yeahh... sign of the crazies...
 
I consider myself a pretty fair guy. And I have always been of the opinion that they are our girls and they deserve to be spoiled just a little more than we do. But for her to give you a beat down because you have to be the first one up in the morning is f***ed up. Its selfish and self centered and reeks of a relationship that revolves around one instead of two. Prima donna little pain-in-the-*** could at least make you a cup of coffee and give a little kiss before you head out the door and she climbs her happy butt back under the covers knowing that you would rather have stayed where you were than go where you are going.
 
Can't believe it took so long for people to notice you lied to her-who wouldn't be mad? She should send you to the couch, or dump you for someone who will treat her better.
 
My .02

Uhh, this is not a good sign early in the relationship (or anytime). Screaming at you... for you getting up early to go to work to keep your job and make money to spend on her???

If she screamed / screams at you for that, what is next... and then after that?

If she uses sex to influence you to do what she wants, she at some point, will use it to influence you to do or not do other things. IMO this is wrong in a serious relationship and especially in a marriage. Making love should be about love, not about what can I get with it.
 
Dude, me and my wife get into semi-regularly about the same thing. Except she is the one that has to get up earlier than me. She also goes to bed about 2 hours before me. Problem is she doesn't get up when her alarm goes off. Sometimes I have to wake her to tell her to turn it off. But the bigger problem is that once she does turn it off, she goes back to lay in the bed for 30 min. or more. So in my opinion, she could set the alarm for an hour later, if she truly isn't getting out of bed until then. Once I hear her alarm, I can't go back to sleep.
 
Thanks for all of your posts. Good stuff. We talked last night and it went poorly at first but turned out ok... for now.
We sat down to talk about it and she asked "who first?" I let her go first. She then said it wasn't the getting up early part but the dishonesty that infuriated her. She then preceeded to tell me how important honesty is to her for 15-20 minutes. Never apolgizing or admitting any fault on her part. When it was my turn to speak I was speechless for at least five minutes. Eventually, once I simmered down, I told I was sorry I decieved her but was dissapointed in her inablilty to acknowledge any fault on her part for the early moring confrontation. I then told her that my style when dealing with conflict is to take responsibility for my behavior and give the other person the opportunity to do the same before I would consider pointing out the others problems, and that I was dissapointed that she didn't take that approach. I know that souds passive aggressive but it's the honest to God truth.

A little while later, she acknowledged (on her own) that she acted like a child. Thank God I didn't say that even though I was thinking it verbatim.

Here's are the issues I'm wrestling with now... I admit I should have just told her straight up "Here's when I have to get up..." and let her deal with it. But I didn't. (Well, actually I did... at least 10 other times each of which was followed by her pouting and successfully persuading me to change it as I mentioned in the OP. But I digress) I won't make that mistake again. But after she went on and on and on and on about the importance of truth. I asker her the followng question "If I was shopping for a gift for you and said I was at Home Depot to conceal the truth would you be equally pissed? SHe said "of course not." So her need for the truth is not absolute. I know it's apples and oranges but I think it was a fair question.

I can't stand it when people make (moral/value) mountains out of (non-moral/non-value) mole hills. Any type of poor behavior can be jsutified if you paint the other party as having bad character or as violating some moral code. I think she was pissed about being woke up early but is too smart to admit that and use it to justify childish behavior. However, when you frame the argument in a way that makes it about integrity and veracity, her response seems more reasonable. I explained my thoughts on this to her later AND told her I will give her the straight dope in the future, folowed by a "Be careful what you wish for!" Based on her lack of denial or being offended at my suggestion, I think I was right. Or maybe she just wanted me to feel like I was right, who knows?

Ultimately, hearing her admit she acted like a child WITHOUT me having to mention it put me at ease. All is well for now. But my "crazy radar" is now in the on position.
 
She uses pouting and sex to manipulate you. Years down the line the pouting will remain, but the sex will not. Unless you like going to work with a knot in your stomach, you need to run.

If she gets this nuts over something so mundane, you have years of being screamed at to look forward to.
 
Dude, you lied TWICE over the same thing. Plus, it wasn't even a good lie. What did you think she was going to do when the alarm went off early?!?!?
Now, should she get mad when you wake up early? Of course not. But quit lying when you're going to be caught in eight hours.
 
When the alarm goes off at the appointed hour, reach over, grab it, then bean her with it. Then claim you didn't know what you were doing as you were asleep.

A couple of alarm clock beanings should get your point across..
 
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