Mrs. Smurfy... Guess What???... more funnies added

[Smurfette]

Another brilliant conversation from my day....

Kid, (16 years old... also happens to be the 14-kids one): "Mrs. Smurfy !! Guess what????"

Me: "What?"

Kid: " I got back together w/ my ex!"

Me: "Your ex? You mean Shaquita?"

Kid: "Yeah! I'm gonna be a daddy!"

me: ".... what?...."

Kid: "I'm gonna be a daddy! She's almost pregnant!!"

me: "....what...?"

(Drops it)

 

[crash_davis]

he just jizzed in a jar during lunch and is about to give it to her?

 

[Orange&White]

...and this is the generation that is going to inherit $10 trillion in debt. I'm sure they'll be able to fix it.

 

[Sangre Naranjada]

Do society a favor and castrate that dumb little bastard.

 

[WorsterMan]

almost

 

[HornOnTheBayou]

I guess the hot tub wasn't hot enough.

 

[Smurfette]

This kid also told my class how they should quit praising Obama cause "Obama doesn't need our praise, only Jesus needs our praise. We should start praising Jesus."

AISD keeps promising me a laptop. Maybe I should start making this kid hold it in his lap every day.

 

[pulque]

Jesus is just alright for me...

 

[Smurfette]

So, today was TAKS. I took my genius math class outside to play since they had the test all morning. We went outside on practice field, (a lot of kids walk through there, and there's always trash.) A kid walks up to me looking sheepish.

Kid: "Um... Mrs. Smurfy?"

Me: "Hey, Jimmy, What's up?"

Kid: "I... I think I just found a condom."

Me: "Uh oh... did you touch it?"

Kid: "Yeah... but when I realized what it was I threw it."

Me: "Can you show me where you threw it?"

Kid points, we both look around. A minute later, the kid walked back up to me.

Kid: "Mrs. Smurfy, I think I found it."

Me: " Where is it?"

Kid is holding something. I look.

Me: "Honey, that's just a coke bottle lid that someone has stepped on. Have you ever seen a condom before?"

Kid: "No."

 

[HornOnTheBayou]

Last week, I had an AP student ask me where the Treaty of Paris was signed.

 

[Smurfette]

I'm going to ask my math class that question today just for shits and grins.

 

[Smurfette]

And the answers were:

Dutch
Swiss
Switzerland
New York
and finally... France.

 

[bobtheking]

Man... some of those aren't even countries

 

[Smurfette]

Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious.

 

[hornFANtastic]

hey Smurfy, I now am head tennis coach for St. Joseph High school in addition to my lawer duties and I heard this gem on the tennis bus and pretended I didn't:

soph girl: what is circumcision
other soph girl: It is where jewish people cut off the little boy's weeny. They can't have kids you know

WOW!

 

[alt875]

What's wrong with kids these days? I blame the teachers.