I've Never Farted........

LonghornCatholic

LonghornCatholic

Deo Gratias
In front of my wife, daugther, or two boys. Is this unusual?

I got to thinking about this earlier in the week when a sheriff's deputy came to my office to discuss security issues I'm dealing with at our facility. When I was showing him around the premise he, on a couple of occasions, let 'em rip. The weird thing is he kept rolling like it was nothing. Personally, I would rather have a piercing pain shoot through my brain than pass gas in front of my family, or anybody else for that matter. I'll concede that possibly I've let a straggler out in my sleep but my wife, lovingly, hasn't pointed it out.

I have never heard, or more importantly, smelled one of my wife’s either. We're pretty much on the same page on this issue. Am I just too darn pretentious? I understand God created us with a few funny quirks but I just can't get that comfortable. I can’t even stand to watch movie scenes where they are freely passing gas, i.e. Blazing Saddles, The Klumps.

Another reason I control my wind is because that is a muscle I'm using back there, and you wanna guess what will happen in my later years if I stop using that muscle? Exactly! It ain't the autobahn. I got strict traffic control laws back there.

Anyway, hope I didn’t gross anybody out but I am sincerely curious. Am I just an uptight dude? No pun intended.
 
That's unusual. So when the time comes and you're around your family, do you leave the room to let one rip or what? That's unsual that your kids don't either. You've passed on your stigma. lol
 
Didn't mean to imply my boys don't, cause Lord knows they do. I don't get mad at them but let them know I don't think its cool.
 
People pass gas about 14 times a day on average. Everybody -- I mean everybody -- does it.
 
So there were lots of bubbles in the costanza bath water?

I think there may be a lost episode of Seinfeld called "The
Contest Part II" where our heroes must master their domain
from flatulence. Then Kramer comes in lays his money down and says he is out due to having the Enchilada Special for lunch.

Anyway this video may offer some needed relief on this
thread.



The Link


I wonder what Comrade loop would think of the sexy foreign
flatulence lady in the video? She looks like she can solve
lots of problems and needs Comrade loop.
smile.gif
 
I think I need to clarify. I pass gas just as much as the next dude, but I keep it on the downlow.
Not claiming I never launch one.
 
It's been a ****** football off-season, so I might as well weigh in on this odd post.

No, I don't break wind in front of my wife and kids, and I grew up with a Marine father who farted around his family with impunity (and he still does).

I once let a silent one rip with my then three-year-old daughter in the car, to which she responded, "Something smells like eggs," without any clue that her old man just "tooted" (my girl's term). Other than that, I haven't let one go in front of my wife or kids.

One of my friends gives his wife the dutch oven every once in a while when they're in bed. Some folks just aren't embarrassed by that stuff.
 
I try not to around my wife, but my son and I are cool with it when no females are around and we slip every once in a while in mixed company. For more than 15 years, I never heard a "toot" out of my wife. I even asked her about it. She told me she hardly ever does. I heard one escape about a month ago. I thought about saying something, but opted to pretend like nothing ever happened.
 
My husband and I have been together for 28 years. We fart in front of each other. We're that comfortable together.

However, there never has been a dutch oven in our relationship, and there never will be. We have too much respect for each other to do that crap.
 
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