It's easy to grin when your ship comes in

[tallgrant]

and you've got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile is the man who can smile
when his shorts are too tight in the seat.

 

[Hpslugga]

Right in the lumber yard

 

[TPCJ]

I got to get into this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who's the gopher's ally. His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit.

 

[RabidLonghorn]

You got a pool? I could drop by there
a pond would be good for you.

 

[NB_LONGHORN]

You buy a hat like this, you should get a free bowl of soup! But it looks good on you though.

 

[MaduroUTMB]

"You're a bishop!"
"There is no god!"

 

[PFD]

Don't keep score? How do you measure yourself against other golfers?

By height.

 

[CaseBleedsOrange]

You're one heck of a woman... How'd you like to make fourteen dollars the hard way?

 

[Uncle Rico]

yeah, well i ain't no doorknob either

 

[IRC]

"The last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it!"

 

[chitwood]

This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.

 

[HOOKMD]

Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

 

[buffsoldier]

You take drugs Danny?

Every day.

Good. So what's the problem?

 

[evolujohn]

And this is your saliva line.
What does it tell?
How hot I can get you.

Are you my pal..."Mr. Scholarship Winner"?
Yes, sir! I'm your pal!
How about a Fresca?

 

[CaptainEd]

you were in 'nam?

no. homo.

 

[Bookman]

You scratched my anchor!

 

[Art Vandelay]

I think this place is restricted Wang, so don't tell them you're Jewish.

 

[SA_Town_Horn]

This is good ****, man. I got it from a negro...

 

[Uncle Rico]

spaulding get your foot off the boat!