Golden Steer
250+ Posts
I wish to make a defense of the humble and frequently slandered article of men’s clothing, the jort (jean short).
Of the many pros of this piece of clothing:
1. Cheap. 20-25 bucks later, you own a pair. Now maybe if you’re a smooth player you don’t mind spending lots of $$ for your daily clothes. The other 99% of guys have better things to spend money on than the strips of fabric that cover our body, such as guns, ammo, football tickets, and tools.
2. Wears like iron. There’s a reason the original jean that Levi Strauss invented back in the Californian gold rush hasn’t changed since then. It’s as tough as all outdoors, and you get years of use out of them (see above cheap comment).
3. Pockets everywhere. 5 of them to hold all your stuff, so you don’t look like a chic who has to carry her keys and phone because her clothes foolishly don’t have pockets. Plus the pockets are squared up, so you stuff won’t fall out when you sit down like in slash pockets found in cargo shorts.
4. Unpretentious. The jort has never tried to be stylish or fashionable. It puts on no airs, it just covers the lower part of a person. The jort has never had a celebrity ***** its sale. It just goes about it business, without drama or advertising, clothing the lower section of men.
Now the cons:
1. Often worn by the most foolish and idiotic of men, hicks, Aggies, Buckeyes, and the like. However, that’s not the fault of the item itself.
2. Looks silly. It is somewhat of an odd look, like someone stated out weaving a set of pants and gave up early. However, the jort looks about 1000 times better than the utterly foolish cross breed between the jort and a pair of pants, the ones that come down to your calves. Sort of a man capris, this truly ridiculous article of clothing successfully combines the worst aspects of both jeans and shorts, and while perhaps useful in flooding situations, serves absolutely no purpose otherwise.
3. Not stylish, and unpopular with women. True on all counts, and while I won’t wear jorts out to the club, I think the last time I went was about 2001. If you’re a married guy with a loving and hot wife like I have, you care about as much about what some random girl you pass in the grocery store thinks about you as you do some random guy.
So in summary, here’s to you, the humble jort. Cheap, tough, long wearing, and useful. May you continue to be worn by men everywhere with better things to spend their money on, and better things to think about that being in style.
Of the many pros of this piece of clothing:
1. Cheap. 20-25 bucks later, you own a pair. Now maybe if you’re a smooth player you don’t mind spending lots of $$ for your daily clothes. The other 99% of guys have better things to spend money on than the strips of fabric that cover our body, such as guns, ammo, football tickets, and tools.
2. Wears like iron. There’s a reason the original jean that Levi Strauss invented back in the Californian gold rush hasn’t changed since then. It’s as tough as all outdoors, and you get years of use out of them (see above cheap comment).
3. Pockets everywhere. 5 of them to hold all your stuff, so you don’t look like a chic who has to carry her keys and phone because her clothes foolishly don’t have pockets. Plus the pockets are squared up, so you stuff won’t fall out when you sit down like in slash pockets found in cargo shorts.
4. Unpretentious. The jort has never tried to be stylish or fashionable. It puts on no airs, it just covers the lower part of a person. The jort has never had a celebrity ***** its sale. It just goes about it business, without drama or advertising, clothing the lower section of men.
Now the cons:
1. Often worn by the most foolish and idiotic of men, hicks, Aggies, Buckeyes, and the like. However, that’s not the fault of the item itself.
2. Looks silly. It is somewhat of an odd look, like someone stated out weaving a set of pants and gave up early. However, the jort looks about 1000 times better than the utterly foolish cross breed between the jort and a pair of pants, the ones that come down to your calves. Sort of a man capris, this truly ridiculous article of clothing successfully combines the worst aspects of both jeans and shorts, and while perhaps useful in flooding situations, serves absolutely no purpose otherwise.
3. Not stylish, and unpopular with women. True on all counts, and while I won’t wear jorts out to the club, I think the last time I went was about 2001. If you’re a married guy with a loving and hot wife like I have, you care about as much about what some random girl you pass in the grocery store thinks about you as you do some random guy.
So in summary, here’s to you, the humble jort. Cheap, tough, long wearing, and useful. May you continue to be worn by men everywhere with better things to spend their money on, and better things to think about that being in style.
