I feel crushed under the weight...

MizzouSnives

MizzouSnives

500+ Posts
...of my damn thank-you notes from my wedding.

for the record--i got married 2 months ago, and my thank you notes are not really dented. my mom has been nagging me for a month. my side of the family is talking about the faux pas this is. even my sister just wrote me an email saying "you really need to do these, they were supposed to be done within a month of your wedding, and people are talking. mom and dad are pissed."

YES, i know i should write everyone a heartfelt, handwritten thank-you note (and i will, really. i'm not opposed to it) but what I'm really feeling right now is WTF? do people assume that i'm not grateful if i don't write a damn card telling them how much i appreciate their serving bowls or crate + barrel gift card? i know it's a small token and it shouldn't be hard for me to do, but damn, this fall was busy as hell! wedding + honeymoon + business travel + football season + bowl season
wink.gif
+ christmas???

am i totally in the wrong for wondering why people are talking already? i know coming to my wedding was quite a trip for some, and i really am grateful for the presence, thought, time and money that people have given to my life... but why get mad over a thank you note? if you gave the gift conditionally, what is that? I'LL GET WORKING ON THE DAMN NOTES THIS WEEK! LEAVE ME ALONE! NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? TAKE YOUR FLOWERED CHINA SET BACK, I BROKE ONE OF THE DAMN TEA CUPS ALREADY BUT IT'S ALMOST AS GOOD AS NEW! OH, YOU GAVE ME A GIFT CARD? WELL I ******* SPENT IT ALREADY!!!
 
According to Emily Post you actually have 3 months, if that helps. Just split the work between the two of you and it should be done in no time--unless you invited a ton of people to your wedding. Good luck!
 
Yeah, I have to thank TexasFireFighter - her OCD kicked in, and she wrote probably 85% of ours. Not that I wouldn't have helped, but she was just motivated ... it was awesome.
 
I was lucky. I married a woman that:
a) Hates jewelry and didn't want an engagement ring
b) Wanted to do all the wedding stuff herself...with her friends. I didn't have to shop for dresses, pick colors, anything. I was just given a time to show up.
c) Likes to do things like write "thank you" cards.

It was a very easy wedding for me.
 
Since we're on the topic, what is the protocol for who writes the thank-yous? I know that when I have attended a wedding as a guest of the groom, the thank you note is typically written by him. So does the groom write them to his guests and the bride to hers? Or is it expected for the bride to write all of them?
 
WhoseHouse: I am not sure the protocol, but I did write most the the notes to my friends.

I am a fast learner though. They were short, with terrible penmanship, and looked kinda crappy. My wife took over the rest.
 
Can't you just have a zany loser friend move in with you and write them for you? Nothing can go wrong with that.
 
I think protocol dictates that your wife is supposed to do these, as well as all of the cooking and cleaning. She should also have a perfectly mixed martini waiting for you each evening when you return home from work, as well as your slippers and smoking jacket.

But, in the unfortunate event that you married one of THOSE women-- you know the kind, the ones who expect to wear SHOES while being pregnant-- well, you might have to write some of these yourself. In that case, just write a few each night while watching football or basketball or whatever. Don't beat yourself up, that doesn't do any good, just do a little at a time until you're done.

Seriously, it's tedious, but it's the polite and appropriate thing to do.
 
Do it form letter style. Copy and paste this into Word and print however many copies you need.

Dear ___________________,

Thank you for the _____________________. It was so nice meeting you/seeing you again (circle one) at our wedding. Hope we can get together again soon.

Sincerely,
MizzouSnives
 
Make a deal with your spouse-you will be in charge of selecting and purchasing beer, and she will write thank-you notes.
But first, make sure some of your friends have comfortable couches.
 
Make a website "special for your friends and family" who you love. On that site, you have them enter a special code or number to access their special section of it. You have a Dear ________ filled in with their name. Voila. Done.

You check to see who has logged in and looked. Those that have not, you spam until they do. Be fancy and have a picture of something from their town that you know they like to "personalize" it just for them.

Done.

(good luck getting **** in your next marriage from these people)
 
Seriously.. this is an issue? My wife and I knocked our thank yous out in like 2 nights. Do to my poor penmanship she agreed to write them all. All I did was sit on the couch and read off who gave us what and then read her the address. Once written I stuffed the envelope. This did not cut into any quality TV time nor did I really have to do anything, yet in the end I look like the good husband who spent all that time working on the notes with her.
 
No big deal. Its just a test, among those close to you whom you may care about. They are judging whether you are really an adult, or still a child. Or perhaps whether you are decent, or perhaps actually an ***.

I don't subscribe to such a judgemental perspective, but it is what is going on.

And your reasons for this lowly performance are.... ?
 
I got ours done in about 2 weeks after we got back from the honeymoon. I would write a few during lunch each day and about 10-15 each night while watching TV. My husband maybe wrote 5 of them? I made him put stamps on everything though.

I also knocked out all pre-wedding gifts thank you notes before the wedding. That helped a lot.
 
one of my buddies wrote one letter and sent it to all gift givers...used the story that the person who transported the gifts took off all the cards as to not lose them..."unfortunately" my friend didn't know what gifts were from whom and was simply thankful to everyone....
 
Neither I nor my ex-wife wrote any thank you notes.
We didn't have a 300-500 guest wedding. There were probably only about 30 people there -- My 4 parents, her 2 parents, our brothers and sisters and their spouses and children, about 10 of my best friends, and a few of her friends and some of my and her coworkers.

Everyone who attended my wedding was someone I saw on a fairly regular basis so I just thanked everyone in person. I gave them hugs and said "thank you, I appreciate the gift." I think that meant more than receiving a card in the mail.

I received some nice gifts; the china and silverware as usual. I received a nice quilt (from my mother, the quilt was my deceased grandmother's quilt; it's probably 50 years old by now but it means something to me). To add, we received the obligatory crock pot of course.

But yes, you should write the notes.

However, it would be cool if your family and friends weren't giving you grief about whether you sent a gift card or not. A gift is a gift, no one should expect a 'thank you' in return.
 
My husband and I finished ours in about 3 weeks (had to write about 400 notes). We split the list into people I know and people he knows, and then I did all the shower gifts. My suggestion?

Cart all the stationary down to the pub. Sit there for 3 hours, have a pint/glass of wine or 4, and don't leave till it's finished. Then you never have to deal with it again. It was awesome.

Although apparently one that my husband wrote towards the end of the drinks was practically unreadable according to the recipient!
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