Here's some advice I wish I'd gotten...

[Ampoliros]

when I was your age:

Live every week like it's Shark Week.

30 Rock = the awesome.

 

[TexDrumr]

chili on my nacos bell grande

my older brother obviously failed.

 

[CaptainEd]

never go with a hippie to a second location.

 

[TXHorn]

Never get involved in a land war in Asia

 

[buffsoldier]

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But only slightly less well known than that is: Never get involved with a Sicilian, when DEATH is on the line!

 

[Ampoliros]

Stop eating people's old french fries pigeon. Show some self respect. Don't you know you can fly?

 

[mr. sunshine]

I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Yes, sir.
Are you listening?
Yes, I am.
Plastics.
Just how do you mean that, sir?

 

[CaptainEd]

i gave her the ottoman, and she walked out.

 

[CavalierHorn]

liz lemon, i need you to go to my house and pretend your doing a survey for the randford group, ans ask my wife if she's sleeping with d.l. hughley

hey liz lemon, im going to an animals only strip club, interested?
does that mean the animals strip or the animals are the customers?
animal customers? that's ridiculous

 

[Uncle Rico]

1. don't play cards with someone whose first name is after a city.
2. don't date a woman with a tatoo of a dagger on her body
3. never get less than 12 hours sleep

you follow that and the rest is cream cheese

 

[elface]

What I heard over the holidays on growing older...never pass a urinal, never trust a fart, and never waste an erection, even if you are alone.

 

[drycreek]

Elface, I laughed out loud. That was pretty funny man.