Getting on with my life

C

Cwaghorns

25+ Posts
I was with my ex-wife for almost ten years, 6 or 7 dating and 3 of marriage. I am 26 and have now been divorced for a month. I am ready to move on with my life, but unfortunately in a moment of weakness, I agreed to buy a house two years ago. Obviously we have picked the best time to sell a house b/c the market sucks. As I said I am ready to move on, but am finding it extremely difficult considering I still have to be somewhat attached to my ex. Things did not end poorly, but I feel like I just want my own space and cannot get it as long as I am in this house. I also cannot afford two rents a month. She is living in our home town with her parents, so she is still paying the other half of the mortgage. I have tried dating some, but it is obviously difficult when I am in a house half owned by my ex and when I have to converse with her occasionally....apparently girls don't like you talking to your ex-wife...imagine that. I just want my life and I feel like it is on hold right now. And for some reason I felt like the best way to get this out is to post it on a message board to basic strangers.
 
Your situation isn't as bad as it feels. I knew a woman going through a divorce who lost her house and car when her soon-to-be ex quit making his share of the payments.

Realize that while you were in a relationship for more than a third of your life, most of your life is still ahead of you. The next twenty years will go by really fast and this period of trying to sell the house will be just a blip.

The housing market will pick up some in the late spring. Do you have much equity in your house? How desirable is your neighborhood? Are there many foreclosures in it?
 
This won't make you feel any better right now. But you're 26. You've still got plenty of time to completely start over. That's the worst case scenario. And you'll know to avoid the same mistakes next time. Cheer up. Things are rarely as bad as they seem.
 
this is a short-term setback. like someone above said it could be MUCH worse. at least you two have decided not to ruin each other financially which happens a ton when heated emotions get to be ridiculous.

you are 26 with no kids. you still have plenty of time to do everything you want. it probably sucks because so many 26 year olds are doing other stuff and you are stuck.
 
Learn from your past but you can't dwell on it more than your future prospects. Create a list of goals or things you want to do. If you don't have them clearly in your head that is ok.

Go have some fun with any of your friends. Relax some, and think about what it is that you are going to do next.(future focused)

Obviously one goal is to get your house in shape to sell. Time will heal the wounds if you allow it and distract yourself in positive ways. Good Luck.
 
1) I hadn't even graduated from UT yet when I was 26.

2) Refer to your ex-wife as your "Former Business Partner". Explain that you "invested in this house together". And that you will need to keep in contact with her until you two sell the house.

3) And start by bringing a prostitute back to the house and having sex with her. After that, bringing a date to the house will be a walk in the park.

hookem.gif
 
IF you "can't sell" it because you are trying to make a profit and no one is biting, then you are just being picky. However, if you can sell it for what you bought it for + and improvements you made, then seriously consider it. If you come out even, minus two years worth of payments, then it's just like renting. It might be worth it just for piece of mind. Or offer up your ex-wife to take over full ownership. Or just rent it out. As far as getting on with your life, well it's not going to happen over night. You just go to live.
 
Put on your Wedding Ring and head to the nearest nice hotel bar.... if you have halfway decent ******** and are halfway decent looking you will get laid within the weekand not have to dealwith your house at all... Getting laid is going to make you feel a LOT better.

OR... rent the rooms in your house out to a couple of co-eds... or better yet exotic dancers.....

On a more serious note- if you didn't feel weird you wouldn';t be human. Girls don't like the fact you have an Ex- but hell you aren't ready to get serious so don't worry about it. Start exercising, and enjoying your freedom. Do the stuff she didn't want to do with you orthat she didn't want to do.

In time it will heal....

"Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end the faster it goes....."
 
In addition to the great advice that Bernard posted, I will add that some strange will improve your life immensely.
 
I appreciate all the advice. I pretty much get up and down. Obviously not much equity, so I will lose money, but it is in a good neighborhood. We just need to find people who can qualify. I will be out this weekend looking for smelly prostitutes and hoping to be attacked by cougars.
 
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