Dumbest 80s Movies

PFD

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It seems to me that the 80s produced some of the dumbest movies in cinematic history. And, I'm not talking about campy B-movies that were the fodder of "USA, Up All Night." I'm talking about movies that were supposed to be serious works of film.

I happened upon what may be the dumbest I've seen to date last night, "Miracle Mile" (1988), starring Anthony Edwards. Bad writing, terrible acting, awful wardrobes, and primitive but over-ambitious special effects. This one's got it all.

The basic premise of the movie involves people attempting to flee LA because of rumors of an impending nuclear missile attack. In 1988? Really? Were we really still in the throes of nuclear paranoia as late as 1988? Not that I recall.

What was Anthony Edwards thinking? He was riding high in the wake of "Top Gun," "Revenge of the Nerds," etc. He didn't need
the work. Did he really think this script had redeeming value?

In what world was "leading lady" Mare Winningham considered attractive? Particularly while sporting a Hanson brothers haircut. And, who names their daughter "Mare"?

Any other nominees?
 
Cocktail. I've still never been able to watch more than about four minutes of that thing.

Commando is so over the top stupid that it's funny, so maybe it shouldn't count. "Let's pahdee."



commando_022.jpg
 
I love me some Krull.

What's hard to believe with the awful acting in the movie is that someone from the cast later went on to become an Academy Award nominee......
 
Alas, I thought I had the sure winner, but The Swarm was made in 1978. Terrific actors in this disaster included Michael Caine, Katherine Ross, Henry Fonda, Richard Widmark, Patty Duke, Fred MacMuarray and Slim Pickens.
 
Wow, I'd forgotten how many bad movies came out then. Nice call on Pirate Movie and American Anthem. I actually played that game in Gotcha though, so I at least kinda liked that.

Oh, and anyone remember Condorman? I saw that the same day I also saw Raiders for the first time.
 
Iron Eagle is right up there when it comes to dumb. And there were sequels!

I just looked up Willow (Ron Howard's disastrous fantasy movie, 1988) and Legend (Ridley Scott, 1985). Very dumb. Very bad movies.

Halfway through Legend, I realized I was watching with my jaw dropped in absolute awe of the badness. I must have looked like the audience in the original Producers after the opening number to Springtime for Hitler.
 
Okay. It's Gymkata.

I couldn't decide which was more preposterous: the unexplained presence of a pommel horse or how a the medieval peasants got into an urban alley.

Please, don't bother telling me.
crazy.gif
 
I didn't see Gymkata, though i suspect it would have won my vote. Gotta go with: Top Gun and Iron Eagle. Willow was stupid, too. Return of the Jedi was pretty goofy, in its own right
 
I think the thing that got me the most about the pommel horse fight wasn't the pommel horse; it was all those guys with eight foot long poles with sharp objects on their ends who never once tried to stick him with one of those things.
 
Jaws IV: The Revenge. The shark is following the family around, knocking them off one by one like a serial killer. Even worse than Jaws III in 3D.
 

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