Dumb things you've said

R

Ramathorn

1,000+ Posts
because you were drunk or you lack perception. This was a few years ago:

Me "hey, how's it going?"

Girl "I'm tired."

Me "why, did people stay that late at your party last night?"


Girl "Uh, you were one of the last persons to leave."
 
When I was in 8th grade a classmate of mine's mom died. When the secretary came in to tell her she had a phone call back in the principal's office she asked who it was. I (as was the custom of the time) blurted out, "It's your mom." I got into a lot of trouble.
 
I'm completely serious...

I made fun of Dick Cheny shooting that guy in the face....IN FRONT OF THE GRANDDAUGHTER of the guy who got shot in the face

awkward

really
 
I had a boss one time who I didnt much care about. I decided to start joking around with him more to improve our relationship. The next day he said something to me and in a joking way I said " Randy, when is your wife going to wise up and kick you out." Hey! How was I to know they had separated the week before.

Ouch
 
In HS I broke up with longtime GF Heather and started dating Kathryn. On her front porch after a date I gave Kathryn a long kiss and called her Heather.... gawd, was that painful for a while & dumb.
 
Playing ultimate frisbee once I yelled at some guy to catch with two hands twice after he dropped passes by only going to catch with one hand.

Later realized he didn't have a second hand.
 
Alright, one time I was a cashier at a restaurant. We sold these blow pops for 25 cents or whatever. Customer says "these are expensive. You can get ten for a dollar over at ________" My response was "Yeah, but that place is also about to close."


They turned out to be the owner of that place.
 
I was sitting around drinking beer and playing cards (or some game) with a friend, and he asked me to get him a beer. Without thinking I said "Get it yourself. You're not crippled." Well, unfortunately, he was crippled.
 
texasflag.gif


Nothing...ever.
smile.gif













cow_rose.gif
 
At a party, me and few friends were shitfaced and one of them starting making out with this chick who was beyond ugly. I pulled him aside and informed him, in no uncertain terms, that he had beer goggles and this chich was way too narsty for him to get with. Fast forward a couple years:

They're getting married this summer
blush.gif
 
In 9th grade walking down the hallway to a class, I saw a good buddy of mine John, going to English class with Mr. Loya, who was also my English teacher but in an earlier period. I say to John: "tell Loya: hello fatso" (this teacher was rather obnoxious & weighed probably 300+ lbs.). John delievers my message. Later that day I got pulled out of class and sent to see the Asst. Prin. with an "infraction card". Mr. Summers was a strapping 6' 4" and probably 225 lbs.- he "corrected me" and rocked my world with 2 very vigorous licks from his hard plastic paddle.

Later, I cursed my friend John and told him I was just kidding.... we still laugh about it years later.
 
Similar to Benson's.... More than once I've thrown out the "you too" response to someone telling me to "have a nice flight" after dropping me off at the airport.
 
I was drunk in a cab in Prague once and the taxi driver and I were trying to establish a common language.

"Sprechen sie Deutsch?" he asked.

"Si," I replied.
 
During a computer class, I put two and two together and figured out how to send messages from computer to computer. not thinking it would actually work, I tried sending a message to the computer whose screen was being shown on the over head at the front of the class room. it said "**** you, Mr Aidian."

It worked....Not only that, it stayed up there for 15 minutes for the entire class to see while he was lecturing on something else.....
 
When I was in high school, I was driving some guys home after track practice when I noticed a run down house on top of a hill and said, "Hey, check out that piece of sh**. I wonder who the f*** lives there". One of the guys in the back says, "Me".
 
I made a comment about a long distance runner who won district championships at our high school. It turned out that she was at the table at Chuy's drinking margaritas with us. Epic failure.
 
I unfortunately don't have the excuse of drunkenness or fatigue for any of these.

In HS, with a group of people which include this one guy who always exaggerated every minor problem he had as if it was a huge tragedy. I got fed up with his whining and said sarcastically "Dude that's horrible, you should just kill yourself." Everyone got silent and then I realized that one of the girls in the group recently had one of her best friends commit suicide.

I was carpooling somewhere with some friends and I ended up driving 4 girls. My Kia is not known for its accelerating abilities and it was struggling to get up this one hill and one of the girls joked that the car wasn't used to having 4 extra people. I saw my chance to comment on how they are so light and slender that it wouldn't make a difference, but I over-thought it. I should have just said something really simple, but I figured I'd say that it's really only like 1 extra person since it would take all of them to equal my weight. It came out "Yeah, the car now weighs twice what it usually does."
brickwall.gif


And apparently there's something about cars, girls, and weight, because a couple of years ago a girl my friend knew had a wheel fall off her car (yes, it just fell off, her mechanic was a dumbass and didn't put it back on right) and I went along to help. The car was up on a jack since we were going to put the spare on until we realized it was really, really flat, so we were going to drive her home after calling for a tow. She got in the car to grab her purse and the jack wobbled, so all I meant to say was "Watch out, the jack isn't stable", but it came out as "Watch out, the jack can't take that much weight."
 
In high school:

A hot, fit, tall volleyball player in my English class was talking about some experiment she had done in physics the period before. Somehow it involved someone getting on a disc thing and spinning around in place. She mentioned that in her lab group, she had to get on the disc because she was the lightest. I meant to say something about how she must be pretty skinny to be that tall (we're talking 6'3") and still lighter than everyone else, but I only said "Wow, YOU were really the lightest one in your group?!?"

Pretty much anything about a girl's weight can come out wrong very easily.
 
Many years ago, right out of HS, and before I had learned what an inner monologue is, I mentioned to a female co-worker that she had a lot of upper lip hair.
 
A few years back I went to see Hays play Westlake at Westlake. It was home coming for Westlake and during the festivities I was talking to some fellow Hays grads about how we used to get all worked up about such silly things as who was elected homecoming queen and such.

I spout off "I mean who care's right? Who the hell was our homecoming queen anyway?"

Girl sitting in front of me listening raptly. "I was."

Sorry Cynthia. Now I remember.

Good thing she was cool. We laughed it off, but I thought my wife was going to die.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Weekly Prediction Contest

* Predict TEXAS-KENTUCKY *
Sat, Nov 23 • 2:30 PM on ABC

Recent Threads

Prediction Results Threads

2024 Schedules

Back
Top