Do you know a woman in a violent relationship?

B

brandons87

250+ Posts
Far too often there are men who stand around and do nothing while one of their "friends" systematically assaults and kills their girlfriend/wife.

For most men, the response is simply "why doesnt she leave?"

What you have to understand is that asking this question is irrelevant, because part of the reason women get into these relationships is because they dont have the mental fortitude to stand up for themselves.

What we need to start asking ourselves is why we have allowed this behavior to go on, simply pushing it off on the woman as her fault for not leaving the relationship.

If you go back and read the stories of women who successfully escaped, 95% of the time they got out ONLY because neighbors and friends stepped forward and said "enough is enough" and pulled the woman out of the house. Not only that, they stood up to the male aggresor and defender her against him if necessary.

Its time for real men to start standing up and recognizing abuse and quit shoving it off as the woman's fault. You never know, you could save a life.
 
okay. thanks. none of my male friends beats their wives, but i'll keep that in mind. then again, i'm not likely to become friends with the kind of guy who beats his wife.
 
What if it's the woman who is abusive? What should we do then? Your e-mail doesn't go into that for some reason....
 
Some years ago, one of our secretaries intervened with another secretary who was being beaten. She arranged for SafePlace to take in the beaten woman and her kids, used her law enforcement connections to get a restraining order in place against the husband, and set her up with her own apartment after she got out of SafePlace. Two months later the beaten woman was back with the husband and filed a complaint with HR against the helper woman for interfering with her personal life.

I know this is a big problem but sometimes there's only so much you can do.
 
I dated such a girl in college. Violent ex-boyfriend actually climbed up to her balcony one night and was banging on the glass, threatening to come in and kill her. I told her to (A) call 911, and (B) get her roommate's pistol, and if he broke through the glass, aim for center mass until the magazine was empty. She refused to do either.

We got in an argument while I was driving her home one night. As I parked, I looked over at her, and she was cowered against her door. I asked her what the hell was going on, and she just said "please don't hit me." I said WTF? I'm not gonna hit you, and anyone who would is a piece of ****. You never have to be afraid of that **** with me.

We stopped dating when she graduated and went back to Dallas. I saw her later that summer -- she had gotten back together with beater boy, and they were engaged. I told her point blank -- I'm not saying you should be with me, I'm just telling you that you should NOT be with him any more. He'll hit you again. He'll hit your kids. She insisted that she would never let that happen.

A year later (after I was dating the woman who is now my wife), she called me out of the blue. She said she missed me, and she should have listened to me. I said that I wished she had, and if she was being hurt, she should get the hell out. That's the last I ever heard of her.

I didn't ******* understand it then, I don't ******* understand it now.

But I can tell you one thing -- if some POS ever treated my daughter like that, I would give him 2 choices. Leave the country, never to return, or find himself cut into 1-2 inch pieces, cast into concrete blocks, and dropped at various points 8-10 miles out in the Gulf. And I like to fish, and know my way offshore.

Men who beat women and kids are lower than ****.
 
I grew up with an abusive stepfather who beat me and my mother. My mother much more than me.

I remember him chasing her around the car in the parking lot of kmart in Waco. She had blood spewing from her mouth. Nobody came to her help.

I am pretty sure I would pull a man off a woman if I saw him beating her in public. I have heard horror stories of men getting sued by the guy they beat up defending a woman he does not know. Criminal charges as well
 
it is not quite as simple as the woman simply leaving, normally, the self-esteem is so low that they are simply brainwashed into believing they can't go on without them (the abusive husband). the police are not much help either, if a complaint is reported and the police come to a domestic disturbance, they don't do anything unless someone is requiring hospitalization. a restraining order is only a piece of paper, it is not going to prevent a mad man from killing his ex. i don't know what the answer is but i believe there should be a secret society like the "star chamber" were a few people get to gether every week, review cases, and have the abusers executed..
 
What you have to understand about the women in these relationships is that THEY ARE MENTALLY ILL. Its the same thing as a schizophrenic. They cant be relied upon to do the right thing.

The women in these relationship are sick. They are not normal individuals.

Its the same thing as an anorexic/bulimic. Just teling them to stop starving themselves without forced hospitalization and removal from the environment has about a 0.5% chance of working.
 
Codependence (or codependency) is a popular psychology concept popularized by Twelve-Step program advocates. A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for persons who depend on him or her. A "codependent" is one side of a relationship between mutually needy people. The dependent, or obviously needy party(s) may have emotional, physical, financial difficulties, or addictions they seemingly are unable to surmount. The "codependent" party exhibits behavour which controls, makes excuses for, pities, and takes other actions to perpetuate the obviously needy party's condition, because of their desire to be needed and fear of doing anything that would change the relationship. The Link
 
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