Dealing with a friend - Abortion

Apostle7550

Apostle7550

100+ Posts
So, I'm really struggling with a buddy of mine (been friends for 20 years.) Long story short, he got out of a very immature relationship that lasted approx 3 years and immediately went back to his ways of sleeping with anyone/everyone. In the process, he manages to get a girl pregnant. He's now livid that "he has no say in whether she keeps it." From my seat his choice to sleep with her was choice enough. I dont wan't to turn this into a Pro-Choice/Pro-Life debate, but who in their right mind thinks that they can force someone to have an abortion? From my seat, he needs to live with his actions and support the life that he helped to make.... Am I being a bad friend for telling his as much?
 
Wow, sounds like a real jerk. I honestly could not be friends with someone like that. I would tell him to man up and be responsible. If he doesn't, I'd never talk to him again.
 
I had to re-read that. At first I thought you meant he wanted the kid but she was going to get an abortion.

Well....men don't have any choices whatsover and it completely sucks

a couple of scenarios

She wants an abortion and you want the kid. too bad.. her body, her choice

She can put the kid up for adoption, you will have first shot

If I was 22 yrs old and I got a woman pregnant and she wanted to have the baby, I would have been ******. But now that I'm 35 and have a good job, etc, if I got some random girl pregnant and she wanted to have the kid I would be excited.

I find it humerous the whole its my body, my choice thing but when it comes time for child support its OUR child this OUR responsibility that. I'm going to get it for saying that one. ha ha
 
He had a say in whether she got knocked up. If he didn't want to have a say in that, then he should have worn his raincoat, or simply chosen not to get in bed with her in the first place.

He has zero room to be pissed off with anybody but himself.

I agree, if he doesn't man up, you need to stop associating with him.
 
"Well....men don't have any choices whatsover and it completely sucks"

Sure they do. Keep your dick in your pants.

" But neither one of them them wanted a baby when they hopped in the sack together"

You know this how?
 
Would add that as long as basic biological facts remain the same, the woman is stuck with other tough consequences. If she keeps the kid, she generally can't just abandon her parental role when things are tough, like fathers often do. So the whole "dads get no choices" whine rings hollow with me.
 
The OP never really said what the woman wants in this case. The implication is that she wants to give birth to the child. Is this correct?
 
"They BOTH took a risk yet she is the only one that gets to decide what happens when the risk goes wrong."

And if she doesn't agree, what, forced abortion?

Now that should set Repubs heads to spinning. Of course they're all about forcing their views on others anyway.
 
Count me as someone who says the guy needs to take responsibility for the role he played. He can play the 'victim' all he wants, but it won't get him anywhere. He made a decision that has biological consuquences. He needs to take responsibility for his actions even if he doesn't like what the consequences are.
 
Isn't there somebody on this board who had a woman say he was the father of her child and he had already had a vasectomy. Come to find out it was some musician. He busted her with the papers about his vasectomy and she started balling
 
Lotsa sanctimonious whining on here. The dad's choices: (1) use reliable birth control, and failing that, (2) choose whether or not to be involved in the life of any resulting kid.
 
Guys... it's usually a pretty rare situation where the man is going... "I know we hooked up a couple weeks ago drunk and I really want to have this baby and be a father!" This is a RARE thing.

The woman had a choice, the guy had a choice. I wish they have used any of a number of contraceptive methods easily available. My thinking is prevention is a better policy.

What's interesting about this situation is my perception of the psyche of the sperm donor (potential dad) in this case. The woman says he is off the hook, though legally that BS if she changes her mind. But let's assume that she is being truthful, then why is the guy upset? Because he will know that he has a son or daughter out there and .... what? That he won't be in their lives? That he might in the future have to pay money to his child for support? That other people will know the baby is his over time and it will cause him embarassment? Or does he want a 51% say in the decision to abort.

Guys KNOW that you can be on the hook if you knock a girl up. The girls know the risk and in some cases certainly takes advantage of the more than willing man to sire a child. Only one has to take on the burden of child birth, the other can simply check caller ID and wait for a process server after the child is born.

******* is fine, and condoms are largely very effective if you want to be promiscious. If I were single and as wild as I was in my youth I would most certainly have condoms laying around in a couple places in my car, and in my gym bag. Fear of disease would be my first deterrent, and the desire NOT to have a child from a casual sexual encounter would be the other.
 
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