Calling on all Horn fan infinite knowlegde

U

utmck

500+ Posts
My gf wants to have "date night" Saturday at the house and she wants it to be a little music, dancing and drinking. She is leaving it completely up to me to come up with the ideas along these guidelines. So I thought I would call out to my Horn Fans brethren to come up with some ideas. So fire away.
 
I agree with Orange& White, except leave off the lesbian porn. Make the other one the 2005 Rose Bowl.

However, your girlfriend might not be as turned on by Vince's superpowers as I am.
 
Video of Richard Simmons sweatin' to the oldies covers the music and dancing. You can drink shots of peppermint Schnapps until the mood gets right, light some candles and maybe put on some Barry White to close the sale.

RichardSimmons.jpg
 
Is there any irony in the fact that you misspelled the word knowledge while asking for knowledge?
biggrin.gif


As far as the rest, I can only go on experience. If it were my girl, here is what I would do. Light about a pack or so of Marlboro's and just let 'em burn. Take the Bud out of the fridge so it is nice and warm, making sure to spill a few on the floor so as to mix with the fragrance of the cigs. Put on a Kevin Fowler CD and two-step her around the living room a few times. She is all of a sudden back at Oakleys in Waco, her favorite honky tonk/******** dive, happy as a clam. And I am the smoothest sumbitch on the planet.
cool.gif


You can thank me later.
 
It all depends on what kind of music she likes.....

If she likes country, then SBO's idea is cool! Maybe not so much with the cigs burnin in your place, but some incense.

If it's reggae/r&b/latin hip hop/techno.... I say add some candles to that! Maybe some bud too, if you do that sorta thing!?
 
why is she leaving it up to you when clearly she already has ideas in her mind?

girls test guys for shits and giggles and its ********
 
Food: You don't want to be filled up and feeling bloated if you're gonna get laid. No pizza or steak or anything heavy. Cook something light, based on her tastes.

Drinks: Stay away from things that make you gassy (beer in other words) or is requires constant mixing (unless you do an entire batch of vodka and tonic at one time). In a word: wine. Go to a wine store with an owner you like and trust and don't spend less than $15 a bottle. I like southern Rhones and Bordeaux myself.

Music: Want something sexy and different: download a couple of albums by Gilberto/Getz; their self-title album (you know, the one with The Girl from Impanema and eight or nine other great songs), Live a Carnegie Hall or Best of Two Worlds.

Do all three and she'll be floored by your sudden urbane, worldly cool.
 
Have some Texas wine ready... Grape Creek Vineyards is good. I suggest the Cabernet Trois. Cheese and crackers are good, also a fruit plate. Have Waylon's "Luckenbach TX" playing in the background and some candles burning. Then feed her different foods. If you wanna make it sexier, blind fold her. Ice is good, too!
wink.gif
 
Duct tape for starters.

I would suggest renting the movie, Barbershop. You never know who may show up and watch the movie with you two. You may also have help serving food or bringing it in from the kitchen! She will surely commit to you and her mother will be in agreement of this.

Make sure to serve food to your special guest on a plate because they will lose it if it is in a bowl.
 
According to Austin 3:16, you should play the Trinity Sessions loud enough so that she doesn't hear your buddies hiding in the closet until the time is right.
 
Horn Emeritus-- Thanks. I'll never be able to look at your beautiful pictures of Texas again without imagining the tight-pantsed weirdo behind the camera gyrating.... singing "ba do da do da booow boow.. ba du da.... a big leg woman and got no soul..."


brickwall.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Weekly Prediction Contest

* Predict TEXAS-KENTUCKY *
Sat, Nov 23 • 2:30 PM on ABC

Recent Threads

Prediction Results Threads

2024 Schedules

Back
Top