BBQ Disasters?

[brwhorn]

Let's hear some of the pitfalls we've all suffered.
What to avoid on the 4th this year.

Anyone got any classic stories?

 

[Luke Duke]

All of my BBQ turns out perfect everytime.

 

[Steel Shank]

Once I did a brisket that had about a half teaspoon too much salt in the rub.

 

[NCAAFBALLROX]

I think we once had a mixup in the 'toothpicks to participants' ratio...

(Wouldn't happen in Dirt Burglar'sville 'cause it's hard to get anything stuck in your tooth).

 

[Traffic]

I'll bite.

I smoked some babybacks for about 6 hours that probably could have used 10+ hours on the grill. Calling them "okay" was generous. For whatever reason, the time on the smoke was insufficient and they were under-done.

The lesson I learned? You can't just set a timer and call it done when the buzzer sounds.

 

[hornian]

I read on here one time that lump charcoal burns cleaner so you use less of it, so I went ahead and bought some one time. Bad idea. I just couldn't get the temp to stay where it needed to be, and the lump charcoal also burned a lot faster than I was used to. I ruined a good brisket that day, and so far it's my only real **** up with my pit. I stick with briquets now.

 

[S197HQQKEM]

I trusted Salt Lick's advertising on their "all you can eat family style" bbq, the "bbq" was mediocre, the sausage was tasteless and greasy and they refused to serve us all you can eat.

Lying ******** Serving Lousy "food" that's Salt Lick.

Never Again.

 

[OzzieVirgil]

Disaster is an understatement. I had a brisket and four racks of baby backs on the pit for my wife's coworkers at the house (about 14 people came by). I put the brisket on at 11 the night before and the ribs went on around 9 AM. People were supposed to be there 5-6 PM. At four, I had to run to the store to buy some limes, so I shut down the heat. The brisket and ribs were in foil at that point. When I left, the main chamber was under 200 degrees. Somehow, my grease drain had become clogged, so the grease had begun to build up in the main chamber. In the thirty minutes that I was gone, the grease started to spill back into the fire box. When I came back to check on the meat the temp gauge was pegged at 550, and smoke was pouring out of the pit. I opened the door to find nothing but charred remnants with a six foot flame shooting out of the main chamber. The ribs were blackened and stuck to the grate while the brisket was half the size and totally ablaze. We ended up eating sausage and grilled chicken breasts. Sucked ***. My wife's coworkers thought I was a total douchebag.

 

[GakFoo]

reading this thread is making me nervous since i have about 25 people coming to my place on the 4th.

i think i'm going to take tomorrow off to do my brisket.

 

[S197HQQKEM]

another BBQ disaster, I was entered into a BBQ contest of sorts by my wife. It was with a co-worker of hers, I would make my brisket and he would make his Tennessee ribs (pork) for some party my wife's office was having.

Well I cooked my brisket and took it and sliced it and the meal was served, my brisket of course was perfect and I recieved accolades from all the guests including my "opponent". The disaster part came when, to be polite, I partook of his "BBQed" ribs, which didn't have a smoky aroma (an aroma pleasing to the Lord) at all and were slathered with some kind of gelatanous sweet uh, stuff, they were awful, but I managed to choke down a bite or two and resisted throwing up and politely queried him as to his manner of preparation of this "BBQ". He allowed as how he had cut them into sections and boiled them and then had basted them with sauce and finished them on the grill.

What a disaster!!!!!


I had to eat two more plates of my brisket to get the taste of that nasty uh, Tennessee "BBQ" out of my mouth.

 

[TEXAS1026]

I once tried one of my uncle's sauce recipes for chicken. I trusted in his abilities towards bbq, but apparently our tastes differ greatly. Our house reeked of vinegar for a day. It was the last and only time I attempted to make any kind of "bbq" that called for a basting of sauce.

I have experienced a lot of disasters by people who know nothing about the art. I did my awesome smoked chicken one day, and a roommate attempted to reenact my masterpiece. He bought some drumsticks and soaked them in lime juice. He then made a fire and DUMPED about half a bag of wood chips onto the fire and then put the chicken on. There was so much smoke I thought our house was on fire. The chicken tasted like smoke, and was just awful.

One of my new roommates has this thing about trying to fry chicken on the grill. He will bread the chicken using bisquick, and then throws it on the grill. He always wonders why it is always burned. In order to eat it, I have to pull off all the burned skin, which is usually all of it.

 

[S197HQQKEM]

One other disaster that I shudder to remember, I ate at a Sonny's "BBQ" here in Florida, IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!!!

The best thing at Sonny's is their french frys.


Those of you coming to Orlando for the UCF mudhole stomping, you have been warned!!!!

 

[Sucklebuster]

Ozzie, thats funny.

I've torched my share of BBQ...never seems fuuny at the time.

 

[CelisHorn]

I smoked a 12 or so pound brisket overnight so it would be ready for a noon kickoff only to find out the next morning after cooked and rested that the brisket was spoiled. I thought it had a strange smell to it when I rubbed it down and threw it on the grill. I took it fully cooked to HEB and they gave me a new one. That was little consolation considering I now had no home cooked bbq for the game. Luckily, my lovely wife went to the local joint and brought us home some nice ribs and brisket.

Now I always check the plastic wrap on the brisket to make sure its fully vaccuum sealed.

 

[Pepper Brooks]

I once bought a bag of hickory that was too green. I did not know it at the time. I cooked some chicken, ribs and brisket all finished with a nice bitter creosote flavor. yummy.

 

[LeoZBatfish]

I swear this wasn't me. . .

Years ago, a bunch of friends were going to get together at a friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner. He was going to smoke a turkey, while his wife baked a turkey in the oven.

At the time, my friend rented a house on the corner of the street. It had no fence around the yard. He started smoking the turkey the night before. He had a large bucket of water and wood chips next to his pit and would throw more chips on the fire periodically throughout the night.

Lots of people gathered for the big dinner. When I took the first bite of smoked turkey, I almost gagged. Probably something the matter with me. It was all I could do to choke down a second bite. I noticed everybody else had a similar reaction. Thank goodness for the baked turkey.

In hindsight, we figured the neighborhood dogs came by and relieved themselves in his bucket of wood chips. One of the ladies at the dinner had never eaten smoked turkey before and refuses to try it again after that experience. She thinks we're all crazy for eating "dog butt turkey". Since then, I always keep the wood chips where the critters can't get to them.

 

[suttree]

Ozzie, I know that feeling, although I did it with about $300 of CM beef tenderloin on a weber. I went in to watch some Texas game, peeked out to check, and it looked like someone had dropped napalm on Mr. Webber. I even had the lid on, but hadn't gotten a god tight fit, and I ended up with charcoal filets cooked medium well, plus. GD I was pissed.

 

[Mistadobalina]

I'll let you know in a few hours. It's my first time smoking and I've got a 5lb pork shoulder and a 4 lb chicken on. Temps have ranged from 180 at the start to 250. I took a peak after an hour and a half and it looked decent, but I'm only just getting the hang of keeping the temp consistent.

 

[NCAAFBALLROX]

Mista, provided you're indirectly smoking & don't exceed 325 - 350 (don't exceed for too long, anyhow) then you should be gold.

For your first 10 - 15 smokings or so, you'll want to keep an eye on the heat but don't be tempted to go for fast solutions on the upswing (easier to drop the temperature fast than to bring it back up).

What's your smoking rig?

 

[Mistadobalina]

It's like hornian's.
The Link

I've had problems keeping it above 200 over the last hour. Just not sure how to best keep the firebox at a good level. I think I need a grate or something to keep air flowing underneath, and to concentrate all the fule in a smaller area.

Gonna throw my temp gauge into the chicken here shortly (it's been 3 hours, but my avg temp has been closer to 200 than 225) and leave the shoulder on for another hour or so. Robb Walsh says you can't really over do the shoulder and recommends ~4 hours anyway, as did Luke duke on my other thread....The Link

 

[suttree]

It's pretty hard to eff up a pork shoulder. The trick there is carving it right to eliminate the fat, otherwise you get a pretty gross serving. The chicken is easy, just put a thermometer in the thigh and take it off at 167. If you have a little cooler (I get them every year from dove hunting) stick it in there for 45 minutes. Otherwise foil and park it in the oven.

If you discover the secret of getting paper crisp chicken skin kindly share it.

 

[Son of a Son]

My neighbor's a cook-off and catering clas BBQ artist. Has a pit that makes me happy in the pants. I am listening to every tidbit he offers.

If you want a good rub, try this:
www.texasbbqrub.com

 

[Texas Law]

I've got a true BBQ disaster. When I was in HS, my dad had smoked a brisket for Christmas eve. On the 28th (four days later) I was tasked with cleaning out the ash drawer. Being a lazy teenager, the trash can with the ashes only made it as far as the garage.

Later that day, some relatives came in town and gifts were exchanged. The wrapping paper was thrown in the trash can my lazy *** left in the garage.

For some reason I stayed up late that night, and I heard strange noises in our garage. When I opened the garage door, I was greeted by the explosion of fresh oxygen meeting fire. Amazingly, some coal/wood still had a spark four days later and it ignited the wrapping paper. We were fortunate that I was up late that night, and the damage from the fire was limited to the garage and smoke. The firemen actually did much more structural damage than the fire.