Airport bomb jokes

VYFan

2,500+ Posts
There have always been signs in airports saying "no bomb jokes," but I never heard a good bomb joke or saw a book of bomb jokes. Is there a black market for this sort of thing?
pirate.gif
 
How do you make an American Eagle flight land on time?
About 15 pounds of C4.

Detaining the people who make jokes about bombs has got to be the most asinine and backwards security practice that I can think of. If someone has made it that far with an working explosive device, the probability that they will give themselves away by loudly discussing the sort of terrorist act that they plan to commit in the immediate future
is so remote as to be laughable. The people making jokes about bombs/terrorism/etc. are the least likely to carry out acts of terror.
 
It's probably a liability concern. I worked in customer service, and if a customer who contacted us expressed any desire to hurt themselves or others, we were expected to take it very seriously -- even if it was directly followed by "just kidding." This could even result in the police being sent by their residence, and depending on where you live, can result in very serious charges (A felony in Canada, I believe).

I think it's misplacing the blame to be pissed at the employees who enforce this rule in airports, or even their employers who instituted the rules. You should be pissed at the idiots who will freak out and sue over the littlest things.

If the relative of a victim sues because an airport employee overheard someone joking about a bomb, and then the plane subsequently exploded, they would probably have had to settle on the civil case before they discovered that the explosion was due to a mechanical issue (which may have been a valid case for suing) or perhaps just a particulary fat-*** grackle launching its stupid self into the jet engine.
 
I dont know any airport jokes, but if you ever go into a bank write this on the back of a few of the blank deposit slips "this is a holdup, I have a bomb" and place them back into the stack.
 
Umm--not funny about writing about a holdup on the back of deposit slips. Seriously, my brother the Austin cop nearly had to shoot a guy because of this.

Seems a guy going through the drive-through lane pulled a deposit slip out of the stack in his lane and wrote up his deposit on one of these "this is a holdup" deposit slips and sent it on to the teller. The guy had been a customer at this bank for years, but by dumb luck the teller who received the deposit slip was in her first week on the job and didn't know him. The first thing she saw when she opened the vacuum-tube container was the side of the deposit slip that said this was a holdup.

The police got the call, and my brother was the first cop on the scene. He screamed at the guy to get his hands up, which the guy did. But then the guy started to drop one hand to the point where it was about to disappear below the window level of his vehicle. My brother screamed bloody murder at the guy to get both hands back up. The guy complied immediately, luckily--if his hand had dropped below the window level, possibly for a weapon, my brother said he would've had to shoot him.

Once my brother had the guy on the ground and under control, and other cops showed up, the situation worked itself out. First, the guy had written his name and account number and included money with his deposit slip, which a robber wouldn't do. Other tellers who knew the customer were able to identify that he was the guy whose name was on the deposit slip. Plus, the ink color on the front and the back of the slip were different, as was the handwriting.

All in all, it was one of the worst days my brother's had as a cop. It bugs him to this day how close he came to shooting an innocent victim of a prank.

So please--don't do this.
 
So the moral to the story is if you want to try and rob a bank, write your demands on the back of a deposit slip. If you get the money, great. If you get busted, just act like you were the victim of a prank. However, I guess you will have to request the stolen money as "Less cash received."

On the original topic:

Bong Bomb
 
I once asked a stewardess if she would be interested in joining the mile high club, and she said she didn't allow ANY smoking on her plane, no matter how good the **** was.
 

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