SA_Town_Horn
500+ Posts
......what comes out of a chinaman's ***?
A Very Serious Question for this board...
- Thread starter SA_Town_Horn
- Start date
campwillben
100+ Posts
**** rice
Barton Hills
1,000+ Posts
Barton Hills
1,000+ Posts
PS - Hiiiiiii Kyle !!!!!
SA_Town_Horn
500+ Posts
This guy will make it rain Saturday
LITNIN HORN
1,000+ Posts
lice, lice, lice...and little brown aggy!
hudsonhorn
500+ Posts
That question was old in the 50s and 60s. Find something new to tag on the Rice Owls, please.
Barton Hills
1,000+ Posts
Oh snap !!!
PacSER
500+ Posts
From the Fighting Houston High Cougars..take your pick hudson
Q: Did you hear about the Rice University fan who locked his keys in his car?
A: He couldn't get his family out.
Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Rice University weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.
Q: Why don't Rice Owls fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.
A Rice Owls fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."
Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Rice Owls?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Q: Why do Rice University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the Rice University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Rice joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Rice grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Rice grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Rice grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Rice University campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Owls cheerleaders back on board.
One foggy night, a Houston fan and a Rice fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Houston. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.
The Rice fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"
Likewise, the Cougar fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.
The Rice fan walks over to the Cougar fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."
The Cougar fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."
The Cougar fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Owl fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Owl fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Owl fan hands it back to the Cougar fan and says, "Your turn!"
The Cougar fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Rice Owl fan?
A: Telling your parents that you're gay.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Rice University campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a Rice player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
Q: Did you hear about the Rice University fan who locked his keys in his car?
A: He couldn't get his family out.
Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at Rice University weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.
Q: Why don't Rice Owls fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.
A Rice Owls fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."
Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the Rice Owls?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Q: Why do Rice University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the Rice University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Rice joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Rice grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Rice grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Rice grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the Rice University campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Owls cheerleaders back on board.
One foggy night, a Houston fan and a Rice fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Houston. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.
The Rice fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"
Likewise, the Cougar fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.
The Rice fan walks over to the Cougar fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."
The Cougar fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."
The Cougar fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Owl fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Owl fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Owl fan hands it back to the Cougar fan and says, "Your turn!"
The Cougar fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Rice Owl fan?
A: Telling your parents that you're gay.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Rice University campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a Rice player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
Barton Hills
1,000+ Posts
Eating Club
250+ Posts
Coogar High talking academic and redneck smack on Rice. Irony at its finest.
HornOnTheBayou
250+ Posts
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